Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

No one in their right mind would deny this as a classic. Or proof that a deus ex machina is just fine if you actually use a deus. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to tell you here. Harrison Ford may have given life to Han Solo, but his work as Indy is just as iconic, if not more so. Scene after scene, shot after shot, line after line of this film is a part of both pop culture and the cinematic lexicon. In every way possible it holds up just as well, if not better today than it did when it was minted. It's action packed, funny, rousing, romantic, perfectly performed and flawlessly executed. And frankly if you haven't seen it by now, you're a fool. Go rent it, buy it, enjoy it, study it, love it. This, without question, is among the very tip top best of what film has to offer.

10 out of 10.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Ah yes, the sophomore slump. It isn't that the film is bad. It's actually pretty good, retaining much of the whimsy of Raiders, but there's a surprising lack of ambition, and an uncharacteristically dark undercurrent going on here. Indiana Jones is supposed to be synonymous with fun, and yet there are moments in this picture that are more disturbing than they ought to be. Despite this, it still manages to captivate and thrill. The action is still loaded with great moments and impossible feats of daring. Ford still shows off an excellent mix of desperation and humor. But the laughs and combat feel more brutal, more fatalistic. The plot feels less like a fight against world-destroying evil and more like a humanitarian mission gone awry. Then there's Kate Capshaw playing a damsel in distress lacking any of the independence, pragmatism, and chemistry of her forbear. There remains plenty to like here regardless. It's still an adventure, still strange and foreign where appropriate, and rousing when it needs to be. It's a serious step back from Raiders, but then again what isn't?

7 out of 10.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

You just can't go wrong using Nazis as the bad guys. Crusade represents a triumphant return to form, bringing back the excellent energy and spontaneity (and Nazis) of Raiders, throwing in some extremely ambitious action sequences, and Sean Connery giving his most watchable performance outside of the early James Bond films. It's fantastic and fantastical, everything fans of the fedora would want, from the farcical, physical comedy-laden action to the flawless chemistry between Connery and Ford. The very few places that the film falls short have to do with some uneven pacing in parts, and a somewhat stilted (albeit with justification) female lead. It also winds up treading some of the exact same ground as Raiders in terms of mythology and geography (and Nazis). In the end, it's delightfully unpredictable in just the right ways to make it a true follow-up to the first film. It's not an unquestioned classic, but the action and adventure and ridiculous fun (and Nazis) of it all are gleefully intact.

9 out of 10.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Damn it's good to have him back. After nearly two decades the fedora, the whip, and that iconic music returns! George Lucas has had mixed results with his revivals of old franchises, but fans needn't worry if this one is any good. It's not a classic, nor is it "merely" great, but what's here is just the kind of infectious fun you expect and crave. Fun is key here. Lucas and director Steven Spielberg know that these aren't serious movies; they're basically B-movie plots wrapped around amusing archetypes. And in fairness Crystal Skull skews surprisingly deep into that realm in often unexpected, frequently bizarre ways. It's all in cheesy, predictable revelry, though the film still falls a bit short of its pedigree. The emphasis seems to be set squarely on a sense of humorous impossibility. It makes for a few great laughs, but the cheerful seriousness and inherent danger of previous installments is all but gone here, replaced by Ford mugging for the camera with an “I'm too old for this,” look on his face. Speaking of which, Ford seems unfortunately past his prime here. He lacks his strength and rugged verve of yesteryear, instead seeming tired and almost disinterested. That's okay though, since almost all the characters surrounding him are done exceptionally well, especially a surprisingly capable Shia Lebouf as a plucky leather-clad biker, and the magnificent return of a character from an earlier film. In all, it's worth your time, and for the most part a worthy follow-up to its legendary namesake.

8 out of 10.

Iron Man (2008)

Play it all for fun and laughs and it's surprising how far you can go. There's barely a stitch of serious thought in this film; the plot is casually predictable, the storytelling cheesy, and the general logic of it goes against everything I spent entire seconds vaguely daydreaming through in film class. It's pure comic book pulp. But cast Robert Downy Jr. as the lead, with his caustic wit and utterly self-absorbed confidence, and you're guaranteed something narcissistically delicious. In this case, you get a hilarious two-hour improv reel gussied up all nice and purty with summer blockbuster noise and effects. Seeing him play a multi-billionaire arms dealer cum mechanical superhero gives his clearly giganti-large ego a lot of excellent material to play with. Unfortunately anything that isn't Downy Jr. is bulldozed straight off the screen, which is surprising of such talent as Jeff Bridges, Terrance Howard and Gweneth Paltrow. They wind up completely overpowered at almost every turn. In the end, that's not a bad thing—the filmmakers know where the focus needs to be, and mostly keep it there. Ultimately, some cool action sequences, wide appeal, and the fantastically neurotic antics of its lead manage to make this film far more entertaining than it ought to be. And if the after-the-credits sequence is any indication it can only get better from here.

8 out of 10.

The Departed (2006)

Martin Scorsese just has a way with his craft; the film that finally won him long overdue honors and statuettes is a testament to that. Bursting with star power, crammed full of great lines and fantastic scenes, and with the unpredictably erratic pacing of a cocaine addict's heartbeat, The Departed is absolutely vintage Scorsese. You get drugs. You get violence. You get a great soundtrack. You get actors at their very best, from Dicaprio's clever undercover cop, to Jack Nicholson's throughly disgusting crime lord, to Matt Damon as his corrupt cop liason. Even Mark Wahlberg, who's every other word is an obscenity here, is worthy of Oscar consideration. The script gives the actors a lot of room to work with as well, playing up its cat and mouse game beautifully with a smart character focus and a sly sense of humor. Simply, this film is the complete package. It's brash, it's brainy, it's bloody, and it's damn near brilliant.

9 out of 10.

Starship Troopers (1997)

Jingoism meets soap opera meets war film. There's little here to latch any aspirations of “serious cinema” onto in this sci-fi combat flick. The script is barely above that of an after-school special, there's no science in the fiction, and it pretty much lays a log on of the novel upon which it claims to be based. But if all you're after is an amusing two hours with a gaggle of handsome people from a hilariously conservative future society, who ship off to war with giant bugs so they can add “rugged” to their résumé, then this is definitely your movie! All things considered, that's not such a bad thing. Seeing thousands of extras being melted, beheaded and several different kinds of impaled at the talons of their giant insect aggressors has a creative shock value that's hard to deny. The special effects, from the titular starships to the troopers to the arachnid race are extraordinarily impressive, matching up well to work done now more than 10 years since it was made. Also there's nudity, so it has that going for it. Simply put, it's a popcorn muncher violence-fest with an amusingly bent take on the definition of utopia. A perfect guilty pleasure.

7 out of 10.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

It starts off strange, but the head-tilting oddity of this film builds to such a weirdly comic expanse that I don't even know where to begin. In part, it's about a door that shunts you into the conscious mind of actor John Malkovich for fifteen minutes before spitting you out on the side of the road across town. But there's so much more going on here! It's about lust, it's about puppets, it's about fear of death. Charlie Kaufman's writing here is hysterically funny, off-kilter in such uniquely surreal ways, and yet the whole thing makes a warped kind of sense within its own little world. Just as peculiar are the performers, especially an extremely gracious and self-deprecating John Malkovich as himself. To say much more, even in such a short form, would probably spoil too much. Suffice it to say that this movie manages to be a true original, hilarious and bizarre like nothing else before or since. For better or worse, there truly is nothing else like it in all of cinema.

9 out of 10.

Adaptation. (2002)

Right, so the script is by Charlie Kaufman and the plot is about a screenwriter named Charlie Kaufman writing the script for the movie Adaptation. Yea, the same one you're reading about. As in, it's a movie about itself. Take a sec and let that sink in. No rush, I'll wait. Now, the real miracle of this film isn't just that it has an ending (which, logically, it shouldn't!), or the way it breaks every rule it sets itself up to have, but that it's actually quite good. It has this kind of clever, unashamed, narcissistic whimsy to itself that's easy to get caught up in. And it makes you ask all sorts of bizarre questions: is this really all true? If not, how much of it is? And what do the real people behind the (alleged) farce think of this? It's twisted, it's confusing, and yet it all makes sense by the end in the most peculiar ways. That said, the final act, where it caves to its own ideas, lacks the fun spark of the earlier bits of the film, and as good as the cast is (headed up by a surprisingly good Nicolas Cage), there's just enough going on underneath to yank you out of the non-fantasy. But maybe that's intentional? That's something the viewer will have to figure out for themselves. All you need to know is that by the time the credits roll, it's very likely you will be delightfully baffled.

8 out of 10.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Just how much honesty are you comfortable with? Wrapped around the fantastical ideas and bent logic of Charlie Kaufman's script lie central truths that many of us have probably faced. What is the value of the painful events we endure? Does love really conquer all? The story here revolves around an unassuming Jim Carrey hiring an agency to pry into his sub-conscious and erase the memory of a relationship gone sour. In the process we see the the good, the bad, and the unbearable pain of love as he watches his recollections vanish into the aether. The central questions are up to audience interpretation, but the core clarity will speak to most everyone. It's not perfect; side plots have little-to-no real relevance to the big themes, and there seems to be an awful lot of comedians in the cast who aren't being funny. Even Carrey puts away his rubber face and wild-man antics for the entirety of the film, playing his part of the everyman to his best. The few moments of humor are honest, in other words—work of the script and the drama playing naturally. For those who choose to be a part of this not-quite-escapist fantasy, there's a lot of heart, a lot of truth, and maybe a lot to learn.

9 out of 10.

A History of Violence (2005)

You can always count on director David Cronenberg to give you precisely what you weren't counting on. At any rate, he's certainly come a long way from Scanners and The Fly. Or maybe he hasn't. Hard to tell. This film is either the world's slowest action movie, or the most violent family drama since Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The only trouble with the movie comes from trying to define it; Cronenberg plays on more genre fringes than most, and yet the whole thing comes off fairly well in spite of itself. The script manages to weave in a decent plot amidst the irregular carnage, while Viggo Mortensen gives his doting father role his dead level best. Still, this is altogether for the more open-minded in the crowd, tolerant of both a saccharine-sweet depiction of idyllic country life, as well as some genuinely grotesque combat. If your stomach doesn't turn at gratuitous amounts of either then maybe a lesson in history will do you good.

8 out of 10.