Across the Universe (2007)

You know going into this whether or not you'll like the music at least; it's all by The Beatles. Now, whether you will like the arrangement of those songs is another story. In its attempt to lend these classic songs a sense of context and fit them all into a plot, the results are incredibly mixed. In a lot of ways, this weird mix of iconic rock and sixties America comes off as pretentious and pointless, stretching favorite songs to an end they were never meant for. But even so, it has its moments. The setting and re-branding of Let It Be is beautiful and heartbreaking, Strawberry Fields Forever gets a decent send up, and even Hey Jude manages to wring out a few smiles. Sadly these are the minorities, and many excellent songs, including personal favorite Dear Prudence, just don't get a worthy interpretation or setting. As an experiment in reconfiguring such well-known music there is definitely merit, but whether or not you'll enjoy it probably depends heavily on your tolerance for reinterpretation and how (ahem) psychedelic your mood is.

5 out of 10.

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

So that happened. It's difficult to determine where to start on this one; I mean, it's a musical about a repo man collecting organs as payment. Think along the lines of Sweeny Todd, but more gruesome, trading in period gothic for future industrial gothic, where the music settles between terrible and neutral. There's an air of cult all over the film, from the casting to the generally emo and screamo style music, to the bloody, yet-comically fake, gore. And it's clear that the producers knew where it was headed as well, with some obscure casting decisions featuring faces you would never have heard of unless you weren't already deep down the rabbit hole. The shame here is that most of them are not very good singers, or are at least not properly equipped to try their hand at the styles of music being thrown at them. Not that it matters with such inconsistent quality in the composition. Strictly as a film, then, it's a frustrating mess. Maybe with the right company and the right mindset there is some energy and verve to be gleaned—there certainly seems to be a feeling of “almost!” throughout—but without the right mental state this whole damn thing will probably just make most people walk away.

3 out of 10.

Once (2007)

guest review by Phineas Gopher

Though the title doesn't tell you much, Once is a heart-felt little Irish film that deserves to be seen. Made on a shoestring budget, it plays that to its advantage, using natural light and handheld camerawork to create the feel of a documentary-with-benefits, where you get to watch the lives of two ordinary people collide as they literally begin to make beautiful music together. The realism extends beyond style; the plot never rings false and the performances seem fresh and honest. Much of the story is told through songs, almost all of which were written for the film by the lead actors. Once even scored an Oscar nod for one of them, the uplifting "Falling Slowly." Easily the most romantic film of the year.

10 out of 10.

Hairspray (2007)

As good an idea as sticking John Travolta in a fat suit and drag may seem on paper, the result is quite horrifying. In fairness, remaking the musical based on the film by cinema's most creative pervert, John Waters, should also be horrifying—it pretty much was for The Producers. Fortunately, the result is anything but! Catchy music and some ridiculously inspired casting decisions that include Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer, Queen Latifah, and James Marsden raise what could've been an another unnecessary exercise in remakes into something rather delightful. Part of it has to do with the plot, which pairs an upbeat 1960s sunny day with a pitch black subtext of ingrained racism and sexism, and the odd jab at the plus-sized crowd. Also, there's newcomer Nikki Blonsky as our overweight heroine, whose perky enthusiasm is infectious bordering on toxic. Basically the film is a fun little number that pours a pound of sugar on a sour little core of serious issues (and Travolta in drag making out with Walken). If that doesn't scare you off, there's a good chance you'll enjoy it.

7 out of 10.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Before The Empire Strikes Back had a chance to solidify the series' place in cinema history, this catastrophe happened. There simply are not words for how absolutely awful this made-for-TV cash-in is and remains. That it continues to exist thanks to someone's 1978 VCR and the eventual advent of web-based video is nigh on an epic travesty, and under no circumstances should any loved one or trusted friend be made to watch any or all of it. Honestly it should come with the kind of warnings reserved for narcotics and a card with a suicide hot-line's number on it. That it has names like Art Carney and Bea Arthur attached to it just adds to the overall embarrassment of seeing a beloved classic turned into a low-budget musical. No amount of damage supposedly done by the Special Editions and the Prequel Trilogy can ever match the sheer abuse this two hour turd visits upon this universe. Star Wars creator and geek paragon George Lucas once said that if he had enough time and a hammer he would destroy every copy of the bloody thing. After having seen it myself, Mr. Lucas I am willing to buy you that hammer.

None out of 10.

With Rifftrax:
With that out of the way, fans of the now defunct Mystery Science Theater 3000 TV show and movie would actually be doing themselves a favor by heading over to www.rifftrax.com and downloading the alternate audio track. Rifftrax are simple mp3 files that you play alongside a given movie, where three or more folks make snide comments basically tear the film a new one. In the case of The Star Wars Holiday Special, the Riff turns an intergalactic meltdown into two of the funniest hours you could reasonably ask for. Hosts Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett manage to pull together an absurdly hilarious miracle in turning the movie's dialogue (or lack thereof) against itself. While it certainly can't rescue an established cataclysm, it drags this Holiday Hindenburg up enough to make it something you won't bring up in therapy later.

With Rifftrax: 1 out of 10. (by the way, the version of the SWHS you'll want to use for this runs about 1 hour, 57 minutes or so, and still has the vintage commercials in it)

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Whatever his visual triumphs, director Tim Burton seems to have a lot of trouble pulling off a truly great film. He certainly has made a large number of very good films (and a decent pile of so-so ones), but for so prolific and iconic an auteur it's odd that his great movies only number three or four. Sweeny Todd falls into the very good, almost great side of things, mostly on the strength of the quirky musical it's based on, and Burton's strengths as a presenter of absurdly gothic delights. It is perhaps the best produced musical about murder-and-cannibalism to date, and it certainly has its ducks in a row as far as eye candy goes. But as much fun as listening to Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter sing about how delicious people might be, one wonders what might have been in the hands of more capable singers. The casting is competent (and in the case of Borat's Sacha Baron Cohen, inspired) but rarely excels largely due to Depp's almost complete lack of singing experience. He gets the job done much better than most would in his position, but the inexperience is still audible. That said, the music is witty and sharp (no pun intended), the sets and costumes fantastic, and the gore flows like thick, chunky water. It has enough going on to deem it a must-see for fans of both Burton and blood-soaked musicals, but lacks the final spark to make it a gruesome slice of brilliance.

8 out of 10.

Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

From the director who brought us the second Garfield movie comes a movie adaptation of a cartoon show whose only redeeming quality is the innovation of taking Christmas carols and bumping them up two octaves. Wonderful. I question the wisdom of adapting an 80s toon that, at this point, is at least a generation removed from the audience this film is targeting. And what a train wreck it is! Sketchy CG chipmunks with high-pitched voices terrorize and warm the heart of a clearly-desperate-for-a-paycheck Jason Lee while “wacky” and “hilarious” “hijinks” ensue. There isn't a single moment when this cinematic catastrophe is either amusing or worthwhile. It's all a calculated attempt to repackage pop songs and sell albums, which is ironic since the movie is about fighting against that exact thing. I'll give that it may entertain small children, but the poor parents who will be escorting the only audience that could appreciate this turd will be lucky to make it fifteen minutes in before wondering if their time might be better spent getting a head start on their taxes.

2 out of 10.

The Triplets of Belleville (2003)

Also known as Les Triplettes de Belleville.
As enchantingly clever as it is impenetrably obscure, this is the kind of rare movie that can create both wonder and confusion in a single effortless breath. Strictly as a movie, it's difficult to describe even at its most basic elements. In a way, it's kind of a Pink Panther cartoon on some toe-tapping steroids, but there's a kind of mime-inspired craft at work here that's truly unlike anything else. The visual styles in play are a combination of 1940s pop art and comic book sketches that really jump off the screen and bring everything to life. The animation is just wonderful from start to finish. There's almost no dialogue—I counted about a dozen sentences total, almost all in French and not a one relevant to the story—yet still a full tale is told with some wonderful wit, peculiar twists, and very enjoyable characters including a humorously overweight dog with more expression and character than some entire movies. What sound is used is largely ambient, though peppered throughout the film are a few outstanding music numbers done in a jitterbug jazz style. Even with as much praise as I've heaped on the film, however, I cannot recommend the movie to everybody. The absolutely strange way in which the yarn is woven will very likely prove very slow and dull or confusing to some, and there's a subversive and viciously dark subtext throughout the entire production. Still, if you find pleasure in a bit of light bewilderment, solid if sparse tunes, and great art, you won't find many better ways to tweak your noggin than this.

8 out of 10.

Enchanted (2007)

Someone must have slipped something into my burrito this evening. As much a cynic as I am, as awful as the promotion of this movie was, and as contrite the plot devices throughout the film are, Enchanted still managed to be pure magic. How can this be? It starts by not sugar-coating the real world side of things. The vision of New York is certainly edited for a PG rating, but what's shown is pretty much as-is, and is sometimes quite brave for a family film. The satirically savvy script, while fairly predictable all the way through, still manages to throw a few smart curve balls while keeping the characters in tight focus. The gags never overpower the story, which is always a good thing. Likewise, the cast is solid from top to bottom. But I think it all winds down to Amy Adams as the ridiculously naive, eternally perky, and stunningly earnest Giselle. The entire movie rests on her performance, and Adams throws herself against it with a level of bravery and unabashed gusto not seen since Johnny Depp first put on a pirate's hat. There's really no reason why a film about cartoon contrivance running headlong into real world weariness should have been anything but another forgettable piece of family film fluff. Somehow Adams and crew managed the hat trick and put out one of the best Disney films in a decade. Happily ever after? You bet!

9 out of 10.

Rent (2005)

AIDS! Woo! Lets all sing about it! Look, I won't deny that the music is about as catchy as you can possibly cram into a musical, or that the cast isn't... uh... well cast. I just think it was a mistake to have Chris Columbus direct. His tendency to take deep, dark, complex themes and turn them into sterile, safe films goes against the very grain that this story deserves. This is a tale of slow painful deaths, poverty, and homelessness. Instead we get pretty-boy actors singing about how much it sucks to be gay/sick/a documentary filmmaker in a supposedly poverty-stricken part of New York City that, while home to an unusually high population of homeless folks, still somehow seems like a nice place to live. The whole film just feels disingenuous. Part of the reason that musical theatre is fun to watch is seeing real live people sing their hearts out and dance their feet off in front of you. The magic of film editing means that anyone can pull off even the most impossible dance steps, and computer tech can easily alter a failing voice to make sure it's exactly on pitch. I don't question that there's a great show in Rent, but I question the wisdom of putting to film something that worked so damn well on stage and shoehorning it onto the silver screen, especially under the direction of someone incapable of making a movie with any real dirt in it. The soundtrack remains nearly brilliant and the story still works, but whatever it is that makes this show a phenomenon never made it past the proscenium. Good to see Alan Tudyk's stunt double is getting work.

5 out of 10.

Cannibal the Musical (1996)

Also known as Alferd Packer: The Musical.
Should have seen this years ago, but didn't. This is the first feature length film by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, sold to Troma Video in 1993. Best taken with a pound of B-Movie salt and half-a-shoestring-budget expectations, the songs are mostly clever ("When I Was On Top Of You" is a personal favorite), the gags mostly work, and it's just plain fun with a few brews and a few friends around. Pretty much as much fun as a single, average episode of 'South Park' stretched to a feature length film. Still a shame there isn't more... y'know... cannibalism in the film.

7 out of 10.

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