Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

From the director who brought us the second Garfield movie comes a movie adaptation of a cartoon show whose only redeeming quality is the innovation of taking Christmas carols and bumping them up two octaves. Wonderful. I question the wisdom of adapting an 80s toon that, at this point, is at least a generation removed from the audience this film is targeting. And what a train wreck it is! Sketchy CG chipmunks with high-pitched voices terrorize and warm the heart of a clearly-desperate-for-a-paycheck Jason Lee while “wacky” and “hilarious” “hijinks” ensue. There isn't a single moment when this cinematic catastrophe is either amusing or worthwhile. It's all a calculated attempt to repackage pop songs and sell albums, which is ironic since the movie is about fighting against that exact thing. I'll give that it may entertain small children, but the poor parents who will be escorting the only audience that could appreciate this turd will be lucky to make it fifteen minutes in before wondering if their time might be better spent getting a head start on their taxes.

2 out of 10.