Casino (1995)

Ever the master of the the montage and the mob movie, Martin Scorsese here gives us the raw, bloody red belly of Las Vegas casino management in the late 70s. It's basically like Goodfellas but with more sand. And like Goodfellas, it's based on truth. Here you get all the Scorsese crime film staples: brutal, unglamorous violence, an absolutely pitch-perfect classic rock soundtrack, Robert De Niro being somber and awesome, and Joe Pesci throwing out hundreds of the most finely crafted f-bombs in cinema. The whole thing runs at a blistering pace as well, which is good because even at such a brisk jog it still runs just shy of three never-dull hours. The epic length begets a story that feels even bigger; the first hour alone has enough plot to bury a half-dozen other movies and things only build, beautifully, from there. Martin Scorsese is simply the master of this genre, and once again he shows us why. There isn't a weak part, a slow moment, or a wrong cue anywhere to be found in this film. About the only way in which it fails is in not giving more of the real life stories behind the mayhem.

10 out of 10.

Commando (1985)

As we all know, once upon a time Arnold Schwarzenegger was freaking huge, and every film he was in throughout the 80s and early 90s was built specifically to highlight that fact. Here we're introduced to him carrying a chainsaw and a tree over his shoulder, because being a half ton of solid badass somehow wasn't manly enough on its own. Soon after, his daughter is kidnapped by a third world military junta. Daring feats of improbable, ultra-macho manliness ensue. If disposable eighties cheese and gigantic guns being emptied into faceless bad guys are your thing, then you'll be in heaven from start to finish. This movie is what it is though: a one-off sequence featuring continuously rising body count. As far as these types of films go it's more archetypal than actually good. It laid groundwork for dozens of films to follow, but on the whole it simply doesn't have a lot going for it on its own. If you can turn your brain completely to “off”, then you may welcome the hair this film puts on your chest. Otherwise it's probably better to move on to bigger, more preposterously manly fare.

6 out of 10.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

That this film is about a man who ages backwards is almost entirely beside the point. As a central hook the idea is all but wasted beyond the introductory set-up, and is more an excuse for Brad Pitt to get progressively more attractive as the film goes on. What this really is, is a treatise on death and loss, on endless time and people that come and go. In that way, the story is a tragedy almost from the moment it starts. Yes it tries to play your heartstrings like a harp, but there is so much beauty to be found along the way. The production is lavish, with director David Fincher's signature eye for incredibly small detail pouring over every frame. The acting hits home as well, with both Pitt and Cate Blanchett turning in work that ages gracefully even when their characters don't. Coupled with the script and story, based on a short work by F. Scott Fitzgerald, the result seems a darker take on themes similar to Forrest Gump. This is a remarkable film for reasons that are difficult to entirely nail down. It is effective but obvious, beautiful, familiar yet new, and is the kind of experience that can sneak up on someone when they're not expecting it. If you could do with a bit of wistful melancholy, you'll find exactly what you need.

8 out of 10.

City of God (2002)

Also known as Cidade de Deus.
Liked Goodfellas and don't mind subtitles? Then you absolutely need to see this. Detailing the life of a boy living in the slums of Rio de Janeiro as those around him grow up into a life of crime, each step forward in this twisted narrative shows off more fascinating wrinkles while the scope just keeps expanding. It's a film that enjoys taking frequent detours from the main plot, cleverly charting their way back to the core, and treats the unbelievable violence going on throughout almost with a kind of nostalgia. For these people, the chaos and danger is just a way of life. The result is epic yet intimate, and incredibly focused on its characters and culture. By the end it feels significant and essential, it's harsh realities shockingly relatable, and effectively unforgettable.

9 out of 10.

Choke (2008)

Much like Fight Club before it, Choke is a comedy about things that probably should not be funny. It shares a few other things with Fight Club as well: it is also about a mentally disturbed man whose scheme is uprooted by a woman, and it too is adapted from a book by Chuck Palahnuik. This tale gives us a sex addicted con-man whose mother is in the hospital and simply goes for a wild sprint from there. The raunchy humor comes at you sideways, catching you off-guard with a fantastically cruel sense of cynicism. Through it all Sam Rockwell's performance anchors things in a veil of ridiculous that fits the film like a glove. In the end it may lack some ambition, and a few scenes are somewhat dead, but the overall package is enough to keep you smiling from start to finish.

8 out of 10.

Cashback (2006)

This is pretty much what you would get if you took the camcorder kid from American Beauty, made him British, and stuck him in a sex-romp romantic comedy. Still if this is what passes for a casually stupid foulmouthed comedy in Britain, then I could do with more of it. Following the life of an art school student whose relationship has just fallen apart, the majority of the movie sees him coping with an extended bout of insomnia while trying to get himself back together. Meanwhile, he likes to draw naked women. As an excuse to show copious amounts of T&A there have certainly been worse. The artistic angle at least allows it to seem more sophisticated, and for a while in the first half you might even think the film has higher aspirations. And then it slowly slides into a more mundane romantic comedy, complete with silly, persistently one-note sidekicks and your standard off-kilter-in-that-perfect-way love interest. Still, as an artistic endeavor there's enough merit in the first half to sustain itself, and the comedy of the second half is decent.

7 out of 10.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Forged of few words, Arnold Schwarzenegger picks up a giant sword and swings it into one nameless drone's face after another. He's really at his best when he isn't talking. In this film, there isn't much but an angry man driven by age-old revenge pointed at a cult of snake-worshipers. Along the way a lot of men lose their heads and a lot of women lose their tops. The whole thing is manly brawn winning over all, but that's entirely its charm. There's a gleeful lack of political correctness to this era of action films and something like this drives it further home; women are often leverage while the bad guy is the only black person in the whole film. But then it's a throwback. It isn't condescending or mean-spirited, just a brutal ride through harsh territory, and a big, dumb, meaningless, lovable film.

7 out of 10.

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

How did they screw this up? The original was about as far from a masterpiece as a “good” film can be, but it at least knew the strengths of its cast well enough to have them keep their mouths shut and their swords out. Things were kept simple and violent. For this outing, pure simplicity is thrown out the window, replaced with more speaking parts, toned down violence, and a wise-cracking cowardly sidekick. As a result almost all of the charm present in the first film is lost. Conan once again dons his most formal loincloth to do battle with another crazy cult and their crazy sorcerers. More swords flash, more heads roll, more time is spent ogling Arnold Schwarzenegger's chest, and the audience yawns. Just watch the first one again.

3 out of 10.

Children of Men (2006)

There's a point late in the film where, amidst incredible chaos and death and racism and persecution, the main character is given the slightest and simplest of favors. It's in this moment that you realize how perfectly realized, and utterly depressing, the world in the film is. Depicting a future where humanity has gone infertile, and not a single child has been born worldwide in eighteen years, the movie shows the sorry state of Britain as civilization slowly self-cannibalizes. It is very good at it. Every inch of the film is filled with a sense of decay, of society struggling with its own mortality. We soldier on, but tragically question why. It is all laid down with an incredible eye for detail, down to the most minute tweak, and framed with some truly noteworthy camera work. So it is a shame that a movie which expertly paints one of the most thorough swan songs for our species does such a poor job in developing its characters. Everyone involved puts in excellent work on camera, but the script is clearly focused on the bigger picture. You care little for what the characters are going through, but instead care deeply, desperately for the state of the film's world. The result is devastating regardless.

9 out of 10.

Castle in the Sky (1986)

Also known as Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta.
Grand and sweeping, with a score to match, this is an adventure in the tradition of the greatest of kid's films. The third movie by the legendary Hayao Miyazaki is so pure in spirit, so unpretentious, and so gleefully simple that it delights at every turn. It's frequently beautiful too, lending this tale of a mythical floating castle and the forces competing to find it a sense of summertime grandeur, from the intricately detailed mining towns to the titular castle itself. The characters within are almost all excellent as well, with the English dub of the film featuring stand out performances from James Van der Beek, and Cloris Leechman. The only real shame of it all is how derivative and predictable much of the plot is. You can see all the twists and turns coming a mile away, and while it removes none of the fun of actually seeing these things carried out, there isn't a lot of surprise to be had. Still, for the beauty, the expansive escapade, and just the sense of frivolity to it all, this one is tough to match.

8 out of 10.

Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

Also known as Rupan sansei: Kariosutoro no shiro .
Once in a while, you come across a film that is just fun. Not deep, or dark, or tailored to any specific audience. Just fun, and breezy, and breathlessly entertaining. The first feature by legendary director Hayao Miyazaki is one such film, providing a caper of absolutely effortless whimsy, and utter charm. The story here is simple: a group of clever thieves plot to make themselves rich, but get caught up in one man's scheme to imprison a princess and control her fortune. What makes it stand out are some extremely enjoyable characters and a handful of smile-inducing action sequences. In a lot of ways it's the Japanese animation equivalent to Raiders of the Lost Ark with much of the adventure included, even though it predates the iconic film by at least two years. This is simply a wonderful, completely enjoyable film, without pretension, without any sort of edginess. Just pure entertainment, simple as it can be.

9 out of 10.

Coraline (2009)

There’s just something about a well done kid’s film. The very best of them are like so many childhood memories: a little bittersweet, a little funny, a little strange, and a little scary. Coraline is all of these, wrapped in an absolutely gorgeous hand-animated package done frame for frame by the talented Henry Selick, creator and animator of The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach. Here, Selick’s awkwardly gothic visuals find a kindred spirit in the work of author Neal Gaiman, weaving this tale of alternate realities and negligent parents into a dark fantasy filled with charm and fright in equal measure. There’s a spirit of childlike innocence running throughout, but the darker threads are what take the fore and it’s a film that is all the better for it, giving the whole a nuance and impression of the most creative of bad dreams. Helping it all along is some extremely capable voice work, including an exceptional performance by Dakota Fanning as the titular lead. The few drawbacks to the films approach are almost all to do with whether or not the content might be too creepy for children, as while the film may only be rated PG, the atmosphere speaks to an older audience. At it’s core though, it’s an hour and a half of breathtaking visuals and exceptional creativity.

9 out of 10.

007 Casino Royale (2006)

Start from scratch. Strip away the liscence to kill, the shaken martini and fast cars, and even the double-oh from James Bond, and you get a film about a man struggling with hard lessons on the path to become the world's greatest spy. This new iteration of the classic character isn't afraid of dirty work, and more resembles a thuggish assassin with delusions of style than the suave, invincible macho male fantasy of movies past. The humanizing reboot mostly works, focusing much tighter on characterization than explosions, which in turn causes the few action sequences and tricky situations to carry a heft almost unseen in the series. That said, at points the attempt to portray a more relatable, realistic Bond goes too far, especially in the final act which not only feels like a break from earlier parts of the film, but leaps unexpectedly into an entirely different genre. Despite all this, the wager to pick apart the cinematic icon was a wise one, showing a fresh version of Bond who is flawed and fallible, but more exciting as well.

8 out of 10.

Collateral (2004)

Unpretentious, slickly produced, and smartly directed, Collateral is a slightly flawed, character-centric thriller with star power glowing out of its ears and style to spare. Not much of a revelation here is the typically charismatic Tom Cruise as the darkly intimidating assassin Vincent. He's well cast, managing to dial down his usual wattage to an appropriate level of menace and icy intellect. But this film really belongs to Jamie Foxx as the unassuming cab driver who winds up with Cruise as his passenger. Foxx gives us a performance with a nervousness and verve to perfectly counter Cruise's cold confidence. And the uneasy chemistry between the two is flawlessly executed. Meanwhile, the style of the film gives a great feel for the rough-and-tumble, lending the crime-drama a gritty and realistic view. Any flaws present lie in the script, which doesn't seem to aspire to much aside from being good at what it is; it's somewhat predictable and there's a far-too-convenient development to set up the final act. However, most of what's here is solid (and pleasantly philosophical). There's little within this movie that will set the world on fire, but for what it is this is a ride that's worth the fare.

8 out of 10.

The Cat Returns (2002)

Also known as Neko no ongaeshi.
Finding an intelligent, thoughtful, and entertaining children's film can be quite a chore. There's a sense of whimsy in The Cat Returns, a childish sort of unimportance that's hard not to smile at. Essentially it's a kind of less trippy take on Alice In Wonderland, featuring anthropomorphic cats. Along the way there are acts of rousing heroism, some fun bits of occasionally dark humor, and a moral about believing in yourself to tie it all together. In other words: perfect fodder for the younglings in the house. The adults may or may not get a kick out of too, depending on how in touch they are with their inner child; unlike most American kid's films, this one lacks that additional layer of humor targeted at the grown-ups. Regardless, the animation is crisp and fluid, with some wonderful nuance added to the leads, and the English-language voice track is superbly translated and expertly performed by a cast of knowns. This isn't an exceptional film by any stretch, it's merely a good one to sit the kids in front of and, if the mood strikes, perhaps pop in for the kid in you. It's simply a slice of innocent fun.

7 out of 10.

Cloverfield (2008)

Break out the dramamine, this one's a winner! Mixing elements of Blair Witch Project, Godzilla and the Korean monster masterpiece The Host, Cloverfield provides a terrifying first hand, first person account of a giant monster's decimation of Manhattan, its inhabitants and the military sent in to stop it. Done entirely from the perspective of a survivor toting a camera, the shaky, improvised camera work gives the film an air of frightening authenticity, spontaneity, and intimacy. When an off-camera explosion causes a band of survivors to panic, the cameraman starts swearing and trying to see what's going on while everyone around him screams and flees, the sense of disastrous dread can be utterly chilling. You feel like you're there. The confusion remains intact as well, with the film only giving vague hints to the larger picture in between piles of molasses-thick suspense. What problems the movie has are almost all to do with the character holding the camera—his incessant nagging and naïve questioning can be grating at times, but when it hits the fan he mostly just shuts up and shoots. Also of concern is the way the film seems to make use of a similar kind of terror and hysteria from 9/11, which will likely have some people thinking “too soon.” Still, if you can put the parallels of real-life disaster out of your head, what's on offer is one hell of a wild ride.

9 out of 10.

Charlie Wilson's War (2007)

Charming might be the best adjective to describe this movie, and honestly it's a wonderful and wonderfully dirty little political drama through and through. As usual, Tom Hanks does a great job playing a likable bastard while Julia Roberts does her duty as a feminine force to be reckoned with, but it's Phillip Seymor Hoffman who winds up stealing every scene he's in as an exceptionally gruff and foulmouthed CIA agent helping the leads. The slow end to the covert side of the Cold War is depicted with a fantastic sense of whimsy mixed with hard-forged alliances that, while lacking punch in any visceral sense both emotionally and physically (it's a war movie fought from behind a desk), still manages to be satisfying. With great characters, and a heaping dose of Texas pragmatism, this light-hearted look at the business of war remains both relevant and fun on its own terms.

8 out of 10.

Casshern (2004 Japan, 2007 USA)

Either it's a soulful meditation on the agony of loss and the state of father-son relationships in the world today, or a live action anime featuring a superhuman facing off against other superhumans and their robotic armies. I really have no idea either way. I will say this, though: damn it's a gorgeous movie! Every frame of this film drips with one kind of artistry or another, and the end result is two continuous hours of scene paintings of incredible fidelity. The action sequences benefit the most from this, though some erratic editing keeps the violence from being immediately understandable. Meanwhile, the plot that guides the imagery is meandering and unfinished. By the conclusion, you're not sure of the kind of logic the narrative was trying to follow, or what exactly it was trying to say. Clearly there's a powerful message in the film, but it's buried under confusing conspiracy plots and typical anime existential melodrama. That being said, there are moments of startling clarity and tender emotion peppered throughout. Maybe some folks will watch this and see something huge and meaningful. Maybe I missed something that kept me from fully enjoying this film. I wish I could see what that is, because what little got through was quite touching.

6 out of 10.

Crash (2004)

Should probably start by saying that I am a white male, raised protestant, in what is arguably the most privileged country in the history of history. Crash is all about hot, spicy racism but the script gets so caught up in trying to depict different ways to be racist, and different ways for people to feel bad about themselves for being secretly racist, that it forgets to try to build its characters beyond any kind of archetype. Screenwriter Paul Haggis seems determined to smash you over the head with agenda after agenda for the first half and then pulls a few too-convenient contrivances to wrap up, gives you a a last second here-we-go-again, and is off on another adventure. Luckily, most of this is saved from what would've been garden variety obscurity by great acting (I think Terrance Howard might be the next Denzel) and generally excellent directing, ironically by screenwriter Paul Haggis. There are a few really remarkable moments in the movie that fill you with wide-eyed wonder and power, and the mixing up of the broken narrative is handled exceptionally well, managing to keep you involved and interested in each of the separate threads. What the film lacks in depth due to a slipshod script, it makes up for in pure filmcraft almost completely. I'm not the kind of person who gives an okay movie extra points just for tackling a difficult and relevant subject, but it is a true testament to Paul Haggis's skill in calling the shots, and his casts' skill in receiving them, that his script is not only saved, but quite watchable.

8 out of 10.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Don't see this movie. Please. Save yourself the trouble. I took one for the team here, so let that be the end of it. I saw this movie so you don't have to. In its ninety minute run time, I witnessed sex, attempted genocide, stomach churning body mutilation, several rapes, and of course several instances of cannibalism (sometimes accompanying the rapes). Then there are the real things shown, such as horrific animal cruelty—not staged, faked dummy-animals filled with sausage and dye, but honest-to-goodness killing of several woodland creatures on film for the film—as well as several minutes of real execution and mass grave footage courtesy of then-Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. Buried somewhere in this repugnant mess of a movie is a decent question of whether it's our modern society, or that of the cannibalistic tribes who are the more savage. If nothing else, this analysis is effective, but sitting through what is basically a horror-snuff film to get to that message is more than a person should have to bear. This is considered one of the most controversial movies of all time (which is what drew me to see it), featuring sex and violence of a nature I can only begin to describe without making my stomach do backflips; this is among the most disgusting, depraved, repulsive films I have ever laid eyes on—I wish I could unsee it. I really do. And if IMDB's trivia page is to be believed director Ruggero Deodato regrets ever making it. Do yourself a favor: stay away.

This film does not deserve a number.

Note: I should point out that I have no trouble with the survivalist and abatoir types doing what must be done for people to survive and eat. I understand that for people to eat, something must die, and sometimes brutally. But seeing animals killed for no other purpose than to be filmed for supposed "entertainment" crosses a line for me. A remake of this movie is apparently due out in 2009. If anyone would like to start a picket line, e-mail me.