Das Boot (1981)

As far as harrowing scenarios go, it's hard to picture worse than being trapped in a metal contraption hundreds of feet below the surface of the ocean with every pipe around you creaking under the pressure, and enemy ships passing by above you determined to see you drown. Try to forget for a moment that his is a film about Germans in World War II; just focus on the human drama on display. The result in unbelievably tense and thoroughly nerve wracking. There is rarely a dull moment in the film, as each passing boat or each life-threatening trial perfectly ups the ante. Being that it is film about the unrelentingly tight quarters of a German U-Boat, the atmosphere of cramped quarters is sold to perfection. If you are claustrophobic, you may want to give this one a pass It may not be perfect, largely thanks to some transparent production whenever the boat surfaces, and an ending that feels either contrived, or bluntly honest, but even with those caveats this film is a masterpiece of total suspense, and a fascinating peek at a nightmare situation for many people.

9 out of 10.

Die Hard (1988)

When all is said and done, this is still just a typical 80s shoot-em-up. It just so happens to be possibly the best 80s action shoot-em-up. Watching Bruce Willis sneak around a terrorist-filled office building is a case study in how to make a great action film. The setting is mundane enough to be believable yet handled with a sense of geographical complexity that is always interesting, the villains are appropriately menacing and cut-throat, and our hero is a down to earth cop with terrible one-liners and an ever increasing number of cuts and bruises. All the tools are there, and director John McTiernan comes out in force to make full use of them, giving each scene an effortless sense of suspense and purpose. For every bit of cheesy action excess to come out of the 80s, this is one for the decade to be proud of.

9 out of 10.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Replacing terrorists in a nearly deserted office complex for terrorists in an airport in the middle of the holidays does wonders for the scale of the film, but sticking Bruce Willis' every-cop into the middle of such grandiose spectacle only seems to drive home just how perfectly restrained the first film was. Willis is just as strong as before, but the situation he's in is just too much to swallow. Worse still is how it tries to ape the first's sense of place and improvised geography. Yet despite that, there's still a bit of charm to be had. There's nothing wrong with the script itself, and the shootouts are both plentiful and exciting. Even the drama holds together fairly well. It's just that when you stick such an affable everyman in the middle of a far bigger slice of impossible than before, things fall out of balance.

7 out of 10.

Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995)

Tearing New York City apart bit by bit has rarely been this much fun. The triumphant return of the original Die Hard's director, John McTeirnan, means a move away from the too-convenient plot devices of the second, and the added megabudget means he's is free to destroy as much of the city as necessary. It really is spectacular what the filmmakers are able to get away with in this movie, plowing through one location after another with little but wreckage left behind. This piece of cat-and-mouse features a terrorist with a personal ax to grind with every-cop John McClaine, but it's Samuel L. Jackson's role that really stands out. It's fantastic to see how well the concepts of the series hold up when expanded out to a full city instead of a single setting. While it may be a more straight-forward action thriller than the first, the sheer scope of escalation easily gives it solid footing among the best in the genre.

9 out of 10.

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

And here's where it falls apart. After an amazing start, a bit of a stumble, and a triumphant return, it is really sad to see such a grand series go out with such a whimper. It isn't that this is necessarily a bad movie in its own right, either. In fact at worst, taken on its own, it's merely a bog standard, bland summer action film. What makes this effort so sad is that it betrays almost everything that makes Die Hard what it is. Gone is the everycop, gone is plausibility, gone is the workmanship that seems evident in all the previous films. Instead we get a super-slick, damn near family friendly action film attempt at re-branding the series to seem more “modern.” Oh no! The terrorists are after the internets. All of them! And only superhero cop John McClaine, with his invincible bone structure and implausibly great luck, can stop them. I'm not buying it. Neither should you.

3 out of 10.

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Going back to your roots is always a risky proposition. As directors grow, the things that made them able to make the kind of experience that sparked their career fade. It's nice to see that Sam Raimi doesn't really have that problem. In some of the best possible ways this shows that Raimi may not have evolved at all since the days of Evil Dead. It's every bit the cheesy, crowd-pleasing scarefest that he cut his teeth on. The story of a woman cursed to be, of course, dragged off to Hell, has plenty of easy hooks and evenly placed jumps, but is also remarkably direct with its intentions. It knows exactly what kind of movie it is, and gives off clever smiles as often as demonic fright. In the end, it's nothing more than is standard for the genre, but is so much fun that it hardly matters.

8 out of 10.

Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

Perhaps the most shocking part of this film is that it isn't garbage. Nobody is going to come out and say that this is a triumph of cinema or anything, but this generally unnecessary live-action remake of the wildly popular martial-arts action cartoon has a thing or two going for it. Best among them, a complete lack of taking itself seriously. The characters, the situations, even the costumes all reference back to just how preposterous everything is. It gives the film a breezy air of silliness, resulting in a pleasantly kid-friendly series of fights, sprinkled with light humor. The production values aren't half-bad either. None of this changes that it's generally a stupid movie with a nigh-incomprehensible story and dull action sequences, but the camp value the film knowingly dumps on the audience is, if nothing else, excellent grist for drunken cynicism.

4 out of 10.

Downfall (2004)

Also known as Der Untergang.
Of all the World War II films to come along over the years, so very few of them deal directly with Adolf Hitler, and rarely do they make any attempt to show the opposing force as much more than faceless targets, deserving of every bullet and explosive hurled their way. That is the very thing that makes this film unique and interesting. Depicting the final days of Hitler himself, as well as his closest military advisors and National Socialist Party leaders, the movie treads carefully. Every attempt is made to seem even-handed about its subject matter. Hitler himself is portrayed not as a monster but as a man, frustrated and frequently unreasonable, slowly caving to the stresses around him. Meanwhile some of those nearby are unwaveringly devoted to his ideals, while others seem less certain. The result is a conflicting set of emotions. You feel sorry for a lot of these people not because of what they are and what they did, but because of who they affected and the lives that it cost. For me, at no point did I feel asked to pity the Nazis (it's safe to say that they are beyond redemption), but I did pity the German soldiers and the German people, and the senseless waste that so few people ultimately caused. This is a challenging film because in some ways it humanizes one of the most arch enemies the world has ever known, yet in doing so it highlights just how absurd World War II was.

9 out of 10.

Defiance (2008)

At this point, it's probably safe to say that World War II has more cinematic coverage than all the masses of fantasy wars combined. And yet, there are still a few untold stories out there that stand apart from the myriad gung-ho, war is hell majority. In this case we have the tale of two brothers, both Jews on the run from the SS, slowly building a home and society for themselves and other refuges in the woods of Belorussia. Schindler's List by way of Walden. And for the most part it attempts to tug on the right strings, showing the heartbreak and bleak reality of the struggle. Where the film's failings lie, unfortunately, is in how familiar most of the stories here feel. At every turn is another character or situation that feels liberally borrowed from other, better films. The whole comes off very predictable, with little deviation from expectation. Ultimately, it lacks danger and desperation. There is certainly merit and interest in the remarkable true story being told, but as a movie there just isn't much you haven't seen before.

6 out of 10.

District 9 (2009)

Based on, and expanded from, the excellent short film Alive in Joburg, first-time feature director Neill Blomkamp soundly proves himself with one of the freshest, most thought-provoking science fiction films in years. The film depicts the plight a semi-intelligent, insect-like alien race stuck on Earth, segregated from the human population by the government, and forced to live in a ghetto. It works as an obvious parable to apartheid but the movie plays it smart, never issuing a heavy hand or an unwanted message. Instead you get a deeply fascinating look at a situation quickly spiraling out of control, seen through the eyes of a dopey, pencil-pushing bureaucrat who gets unwittingly snatched into the worst of it and intercut the retrospective of a documentary film chronicling the events. The result is a gritty, dark, often unsettling, but intensely interesting sci-fi drama thriller that asks nothing but difficult questions, all the while wowing with impressive effects. It has a few rookie mistakes in the presentation, but in almost every way this is one of the best films of its genre in almost a decade.

9 out of 10. (what else would I give it?)

The Dark Knight (2008)

For as many movies that have been adapted from the pages of comic books, I don't think anyone has ever even considered the possibility that one might someday be thought of as a masterpiece. The sequel to Batman Begins has a sense of scope and urgency that is so far beyond what the comic book genre typically deserves that the film becomes, without pretension, a legitimate “crime epic.” It's a sprawling work of remarkable depth and terrifying darkness, and a moral morass of the highest, murkiest caliber. That it's simply the story of Batman facing down his classic arch nemesis The Joker makes it all the more surprising. But The Joker is what elevates this film. The late Heath Ledger utterly loses himself in the role, creating a horrifically depraved lunatic determined to tear the world apart with pocketknives and gasoline. The plot's machinery moves forward at his psychotic whim, ultimately turning the tale into an incendiary allegory about the limits of justice, the sometimes gruesome consequences of doing the right thing, and the ultimate tragedy of true heroes. It's a cat and mouse game played by two sides of the same deranged coin, endlessly frantic, frequently explosive and, for two and a half hours, pushing the envelope in directions that should not be strictly possible. Only time will tell if it truly deserves the title of "masterpiece." For now, The Dark Knight will have to settle for being considered an absolute triumph of the art.

9 out of 10.

The Departed (2006)

Martin Scorsese just has a way with his craft; the film that finally won him long overdue honors and statuettes is a testament to that. Bursting with star power, crammed full of great lines and fantastic scenes, and with the unpredictably erratic pacing of a cocaine addict's heartbeat, The Departed is absolutely vintage Scorsese. You get drugs. You get violence. You get a great soundtrack. You get actors at their very best, from Dicaprio's clever undercover cop, to Jack Nicholson's throughly disgusting crime lord, to Matt Damon as his corrupt cop liason. Even Mark Wahlberg, who's every other word is an obscenity here, is worthy of Oscar consideration. The script gives the actors a lot of room to work with as well, playing up its cat and mouse game beautifully with a smart character focus and a sly sense of humor. Simply, this film is the complete package. It's brash, it's brainy, it's bloody, and it's damn near brilliant.

9 out of 10.

Donnie Darko (2001 & 2004)

Donnie's got problems. His past is a mess, he's on several kinds of medication, he sleepwalks, and recently he's started seeing a terrifying six-foot-tall rabbit named Frank who tells him the world is going to end in a few days. The thing is, assuming Frank exists, he might be right. So begins writer-director Richard Kelly's twisted treatise on metaphysics, philosophy, time travel, and high school. It's about as strange as it sounds, but it gets enough of a fascinating vibe going that it's difficult to look away. The high school angle of the film is blown appropriately out of proportion, exaggerating all the stereotypes you'd find within, from the overbearing, self-important busy-bodies to the completely unappreciated English teacher. The mystery, however, is how any of this has to do with a sleepwalking kid and a giant apocalyptic bunny. Sorting that out is no small chore. You won't find any easy answers here. It's a film that rewards a confident leap of faith into it's eccentricities, and an understanding that some of it can't be understood. The payoff, however, outweighs the risks for those willing to take the plunge. For all its thick strangeness, there's something smart, subversive, and delightfully confusing going on. If you're up for it then by all means dig in.

Note: There is a theatrical cut (released in 2001), and a director's cut (released in 2004) of the film. Both are equally good films, but significantly different. The theatrical cut offers a more even pace, a better soundtrack, and a more open-ended mystery. Meanwhile the director's cut has better character development, a much slower pace, and a more thorough examination at the science and critical thought behind the mystery. If you're planning to watch the film more than once start with the theatrical cut the move on to the director's, but if you're in it for the single serving then the director's cut might be more rewarding to you. That said, it's hard to go wrong with either.

8 out of 10 for both versions.

Dark City (1998)

Proof positive that it takes more than amazing art direction, fantastic camera work, and a stellar concept to make a great movie. Set in the tone of quasi-sci-fi film noir, wherein an amnesiac seeks to remember who he is and why the whole world seems to stop at midnight, the story winds and weaves around mind bending ideas that speak of memory, of humanity, and of reality. It's all heady stuff, but writer/director Alex Proyas doesn't quite seem to know how to get his exceptionally talented to sell it, nor his editor to preach it. Things smooth out some after an exceptionally rough first act, but the film's quality never quite matches up to its bold underpinnings. The eye candy and plot are still enough to keep you engaged through to the end, but many moments of the movie seem to fall flat for no reason. It's good fodder for film students or folks looking for a fresh narrative, but in the end it's just too uneven to recommend wholeheartedly.

5 out of 10.

Day Watch (2007)

guest review by Phineas Gopher

Also known as Dnevnoy Dozor
The follow-up to 2004’s Night Watch, based on a popular trilogy of modern Russian novels, is even more convoluted, involving secret societies of paranormally gifted beings – vampires, witches, and shape-shifters - existing in a shaky truce between good and evil. Think X-Men meets The Matrix. Once again filmed by visionary director Timur Bekmambetov, Day Watch continues the story with a budget that looks to be higher and visuals that are better than ever. Out of context the plot is silly, with the fate of humanity hanging in the balance over a piece of mystical chalk. But that really is beside the point. The film is like a comic book brought to life, with all the smoothed-over logic and emphasis on danger and destiny that implies. If the movie were any less explosive visually, this could be a problem. But the narrative rides a steady stream of wildly creative special effects like it was a new sports car, and the screenwriters serve up enough curious ideas—like body-swapping and deadly yo-yos—to keep it all interesting. The film is overlong at a 132 minutes, but the last act moves quickly enough for this to be forgivable.

7 out of 10.

Note: One other aspect I enjoyed was the unique approach to subtitles, carried over from Night Watch. The titles are incorporated more completely than in most other foreign films. They shake when someone is angry, shatter when something breaks; they are an organic part of the scenery that adds an almost constant touch of whimsy, and calls to mind the endearing playfulness of Amelie. How many action films can say that?

Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)

Now, I have to say I didn't have very high expectations for this movie. At best I figured on a dull, half-serious attempt at a flick featuring dragons destroying Los Angeles. What it winds up being is one of the best comedies I've seen in a long while. Which is great and all, except it bills itself as action-fantasy. Oh yes, the cheese is runny here, that's for sure. Epic cheese. Uwe Boll-shaped piles of smelly Limburger cheese. At least the effects are pretty good. Actually they're surprisingly good for such an awful and obscure movie, and the action scenes in the last half hour are strangely alluring. But it doesn't excuse the rampant lapses in logic exhibited by the screenwriters. How does evil-dragon always know where hero-chick is? Why doesn't anyone seem all that surprised to see a dragon (and his offspring, and his armies) stalk the city? And who the hell tells someone, in a collapsing building, “don't take the stairs, take the elevator. It's safer!”? More importantly, who would listen? I don't know what kind of super-grass the cast and crew must have been passing around but I'd wager nobody came out of it till well after their careers were dead. Fact is, there's enough unintentional hilarity going on here to wind up with a contact high.

1 out of 10.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)

Also known as Le Scaphandre et le papillon.
Just at the surface, the true story told here is genuinely remarkable: Jean-Dominique Bauby, an editor for Elle magazine, has a stroke which renders him completely and permanently paralyzed except for one eyelid. He then goes on to write a critically acclaimed novel describing what everyday life is like for someone unable to communicate, move, eat without tubes, smell, or feel. Just as a concept it's staggering, and certainly a tale worth telling. This film, based on his memoirs, offers a beautifully rendered and deeply heartfelt story of depression and mania, and eventual acceptance of a condition nearly too horrible to imagine. Director Julian Schnabel moves this tale around with a sense of time and progress, but also an almost balletic sense of imagination, reflecting the mind of the protagonist. Much of the film is done from a first-person perspective, showing things through our Jean-Do's eyes, and the effect is a crushing level of sympathy. It's frequently a difficult film to enjoy simply because it's basic structure is so sad. But like many difficult things, there is catharsis here, and if you're looking for something different and powerful and meaningful, you will find it all here.

9 out of 10.

Death Sentence (2007)

Perhaps the lesson here is that anyone can become an expert killer. Family man Kevin Bacon starts out fumbling his way through revenge-murder but by the end he seems pretty damn good at it. Fact is, you've seen this movie before, be it Death Wish or The Brave One, so your tolerance for this film mostly hinges on how much you're into justifiable homicide. To be fair, Bacon's bloodstained white collar persona has a decent evolution to it, and his opposition in the form of an unrecognizable Garrett Hedlund is appropriately slimey, though it's really John Goodman as the foulmouthed weapons-and-drugs dealer who leaves the biggest impression. The rest is a lot of white noise interspersed with the occasionally good-to-great scene, including an impressive and exhausting chase sequence. If nothing else it shows that original Saw director James Wan's filmcraft skills are improving. It's nothing special, but if you need a quick fix of violence then you could do much worse.

6 out of 10.

The Descent (2005)

Newsflash: avoid this film at all costs if you are even slightly claustrophobic. If you do not know if you are claustrophobic, you will by the time the credits start rolling. The combination of deep, dark cave diving and girl-power adventure gone awry turns this into something of a post-Saw version of Deliverance with all the trimmings. It's got pitch perfect tension, nerve destroying atmosphere and that deeply unsettling brand of the creepy-crawlies present in most of the best horror flicks. So basically it's a fine piece of pants-destroying terror; how is it otherwise? The story has a few vicious twists in it, while the decisions made by our heroines mostly make sense. Also, the lighting is fairly creative, being as it's almost entirely done with headlamps and flares. Meanwhile, the characters as a whole are mostly interesting, though a bit interchangeable. But you care when the chosen few meet their fates, and that's important. This movie is pretty much the complete package. If you're a fan of the horror genre, it could prove a new classic for you. For the rest, it's an extremely effective way to make you soil yourself.

8 out of 10.

Death at a Funeral (2007)

When it comes to making enjoyably forgettable comedies, it's tough to beat Frank “Voice of Yoda” Oz. Here the Jedi Master goes all British on us, depicting hijinks and shenanigans occurring at a place where the stiff upper lip gets all the more rigid: a funeral. As the comedy of manners unfolds we get the standard issue set-up and follow-through, where almost every step of the way is telegraphed far ahead of time. It's a testament to Oz's skill that the payoffs, punchlines, and misconceptions—despite their predictability—range from witty and clever to downright hysterical. All is aided by a very solid, if vague, cast led by a guy from Trainspotting, a person who was killed in Grindhouse, a side character from V For Vendetta, a midget, and Alan Tudyk. Yoda's latest is certainly not the most original comedy to come along lately, or even the best, but it's surprising how much mileage you can get out of the old tried-and-true when you put it in the hands of someone who knows what they're doing. Good to see Alan Tudyk has been staying in shape.

8 out of 10.