Prometheus (2012)

Let’s be clear: this is a film with problems, and some of them are pretty big. Yet the fact remains that they just don’t make sci-fi like this very often: grand and inquisitive, poking a big stick into bigger ideas and seeing what kind of horrifying monstrosity of an answer comes tumbling out. For the first half of the film, it’s almost as good as you want it to be. The setup is immediately compelling: an invitation to a faraway planet written on ancient cave walls across the world. We wonder what answers wait in the far reaches of space. This is a horror-thriller, however—wonder will soon give way to dread, and unfortunately once things inevitably start to go sideways the plot and pacing do the same. The second half is frankly a bit of a mess. Character motivations get lost in the shuffle, traumatic events pass with hardly a moment of reflection given to the victim, and developments that should be startling are met with a strange sense of apathy. Horror exists almost entirely on the premise of characters making poor decisions, but some of these are particularly cringe-worthy. And yet this is still a film worth seeing. For one: it’s absolutely gorgeous from start to finish, with barely a shot that is anything less than beautiful, even when it’s grotesque. For another: Michael Fassbender’s performance as the android David is absolutely riveting. And there are still those questions it’s keen on fiddling with, dangling like a carrot on a stick. This may not be a perfect film by a very long shot, but there’s more than enough here warrant recommending. Especially if you’re a fan of the Alien franchise.

7 out of 10.

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2006)

Also known as OSS 117: Le Caire, nid d'espion.
Among the many things that are amusing about this film, and the character of French special agent OSS 117, is that it not only predates Get Smart, but even beat James Bond to the punch. OSS 117, French spy extraordinaire, is as obnoxious as a terrible French stereotype, and as clueless as Maxwell Smart. This isn't the kind of film that is obviously hilarious. There are few big setpiece jokes. This is mostly a constant-grin sort of affair, with our hero accidentally doing just the right thing over and over again. Meanwhile the story acquits itself well enough. There's little remarkable about the film as a whole, other than the fact that the humor translates over fairly well, but the whole thing comes together quite well. As a comedy riff on spy films, there are some good chuckles to be had here.

7 out of 10.

L.A. Confidential (1997)

Police procedural films live and die by their plot twists. It almost isn't worth bothering if the movie's entire world isn't turned upside-down by the time the credits kick up. This tries to be a salacious movie, a kind of what-if scenario by way of taking a 1950s mystery and giving it a modern coating of grit. It starts off as it should with each of the cop archetypes present and accounted for, right down to the Irish-accented police captain. Then, yes, things get complicated. As a novel the story must have been a gripping yarn, but as a film things get out of hand in just the right way to make the plot hard to follow. That doesn't make it any less interesting, but it's hard to invest in the story when you aren't sure who's double-crossing who exactly. The second half of the film is a whirlwind of shake-ups, and while they are excellent moments, there's little here that lingers after its over. For all the star power, and as excellently staged as moments within the story are, there's little here of substance. It's a fantastic quick fix for the genre, but it's a bit hollow.

7 out of 10.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Homer's The Odyssey, rewritten for the deep south in the 1930s, and sprinkled with bluegrass and images taken from old photographs. That about sums it up. The thing is, if you try to apply any sort of critical thought to it the whole thing collapses like a thing that falls apart. One moment you're watching some slightly madcap comedy, the next it's some dark fable, the next it's jumped inspirations entirely and is trying to ape Gulliver's Travels. It's not a mess, but if you've got more in your head than what's being fed, the bridge starts to sway a bit too strongly. So what if you step away entirely and just approach with a blank stare? Then things go down fairly smooth. The comedy bits become funny, the non-sequitors become charming, everything else just lends to the glazed-over surreality that the brothers Coen have concocted. The music remains excellent either way. So its a mixed bag. Either you'll see straight through it and wonder what the hell you're watching, or it'll wash over you leaving a pleasant (if strange) aroma.

7 out of 10.

The Hangover (2009)

They say “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Sometimes it doesn't even get that far. Such is the case when four hapless guys gather to give a friend the most amazing bachelor party they'll never be able to talk about. Thing is, the next morning none of them have any idea what happened the night before and the bachelor himself is nowhere to be found. For as wild and over-the-top as the film is, really the story itself is the best thing it has going. Piecing events together bit by ludicrous bit keeps even the frequently mediocre humor from being a turnoff. As a comedy, it has a few chuckles and keeps a fairly persistent grin going, but it never seems to leap into something genuinely hilarious. The fun is instead found in seeing the utterly ridiculous situations the guys find themselves in, and learning how the writers will backpedal to explain. In an exceptionally rare turn of events, a comedy's plot successfully overshadows its humor.

7 out of 10.

Tombstone (1993)

Westerns tend to fall into two camps. Either they present a difficult message about the morality of a time gone by, wistful recollections of lives and loves lost and a country that still had some mystery to it. Or they are simply about the a bunch of the manliest men doing the manliest thing a man could do in the manly Wild West: killing folk with six-shooters. Unfortunately, this falls into the later category. That doesn't mean it's a bad film, per se, but if you're going to show off famed lawman Wyatt Earp's handiwork at the O.K. Corral, it seems a waste that the lasting impression the movie tries to shove around is “look how awesome this was!” Still, the frontier town vibe, the optimistic, if simplistic, motives of everyone involved, and the presence of some of the most impressive facial hair in cinema history make this worthwhile if you're after a solid no frills western. Watching Val Kilmer chew on scenery as Doc Holiday for two hours is worth the price of admission alone. While it seems hard not to knock the film for what it ain't, what it is is generally pretty good.

7 out of 10.

Hot Shots (1991)

A moment of silence for the good screwball comedy. There's something to be said for a good one-two punchline brought on by a throw-away non-sequitor and a terrible pun. In a lot of ways, it seems to be a lost art. While not up to the quality of the Naked Gun films, this little gem has enough great moments to cover up many of its failings. Choosing Top Gun as its inspiration, the primary problem is that the film tries to play it a bit more straight than most of its peers, making a slight attempt at giving the story an actual progression. The humor that drops in is largely incidental. Yet star Charlie Sheen, and the late Lloyd Bridges, still bring their A-game, hamming up the screen and giving clever winks to the camera. Bridges in particular is hilarious as a mumbling, senile, injury-prone navy admiral. In all, it's not the kind of film that anyone would mistake for a comedy classic, but it definitely is worth its share in fond memories.

7 out of 10.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

When you get the right people in front of the right director with the right script, and then have them all pump out just the right kind of terrible, the result can be brilliant fun. This is not a good movie, but it is a damn entertaining one. The script is almost entirely made up of unceasing and pointless amounts of exposition while the acting wavers between bad and hilariously bad. And yet, it doesn't matter. John Carpenter's show about a truck driver battling an ancient Chinese sorcerer carves out a piece of work so bizarre, so knowingly off-kilter, that it all turns pleasantly surreal. Of course it doesn't hurt that the sets and effects are pretty great across the board. If you like your movies cheesy, your language salty, and your exposition extra exposition-y, there's a lot to love here.

7 out of 10.

The Machine Girl (2008)

Also known as Kataude mashin gâru.
Any movie that plays the opening credits over a gang of highschool bullies being graphically dismantled by heavy munitions is bound to raise a few eyebrows. A fire hose-powered geyser of blood later, and this gruesome slab of modern grindhouse is off and running. Campy and violent in equally extreme measures, the sense of pure exuberant mania on display is infectious. Japanese entertainment has a history of throwing all sense out the window and yet still seeming logistically sound, but there's also spark of good old American cheddar thrown in for good measure. The result is simultaneously awesome and terrible and hilarious and utterly drenched in red. If you're in the mood for a grin and a bloodbath, this is definitely one to see.

7 out of 10.

In Bruges (2008)

Straddling the line between comedy and drama is not an easy thing to do. Just ask the producers of this film, who manage to make a pretty decent drama-thriller, yet in the same turn almost entirely fail to make it funny. It certainly tries to be funny, but this tale of a pair of hitmen laying low in a quiet European hamlet after a job just doesn't have enough humor going for it. But even so, it's still a compelling film, with enough quiet turns and character moments to pull it through to the end. The assassins are both likable and interesting, if a bit off-kilter, the setting is quaint and pleasant to look at, and the script itself remains remarkably consistent. So no, it's not the black comedy it wants to be, but everything else seems to be on solid footing.

7 out of 10.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Replacing terrorists in a nearly deserted office complex for terrorists in an airport in the middle of the holidays does wonders for the scale of the film, but sticking Bruce Willis' every-cop into the middle of such grandiose spectacle only seems to drive home just how perfectly restrained the first film was. Willis is just as strong as before, but the situation he's in is just too much to swallow. Worse still is how it tries to ape the first's sense of place and improvised geography. Yet despite that, there's still a bit of charm to be had. There's nothing wrong with the script itself, and the shootouts are both plentiful and exciting. Even the drama holds together fairly well. It's just that when you stick such an affable everyman in the middle of a far bigger slice of impossible than before, things fall out of balance.

7 out of 10.

Cashback (2006)

This is pretty much what you would get if you took the camcorder kid from American Beauty, made him British, and stuck him in a sex-romp romantic comedy. Still if this is what passes for a casually stupid foulmouthed comedy in Britain, then I could do with more of it. Following the life of an art school student whose relationship has just fallen apart, the majority of the movie sees him coping with an extended bout of insomnia while trying to get himself back together. Meanwhile, he likes to draw naked women. As an excuse to show copious amounts of T&A there have certainly been worse. The artistic angle at least allows it to seem more sophisticated, and for a while in the first half you might even think the film has higher aspirations. And then it slowly slides into a more mundane romantic comedy, complete with silly, persistently one-note sidekicks and your standard off-kilter-in-that-perfect-way love interest. Still, as an artistic endeavor there's enough merit in the first half to sustain itself, and the comedy of the second half is decent.

7 out of 10.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Forged of few words, Arnold Schwarzenegger picks up a giant sword and swings it into one nameless drone's face after another. He's really at his best when he isn't talking. In this film, there isn't much but an angry man driven by age-old revenge pointed at a cult of snake-worshipers. Along the way a lot of men lose their heads and a lot of women lose their tops. The whole thing is manly brawn winning over all, but that's entirely its charm. There's a gleeful lack of political correctness to this era of action films and something like this drives it further home; women are often leverage while the bad guy is the only black person in the whole film. But then it's a throwback. It isn't condescending or mean-spirited, just a brutal ride through harsh territory, and a big, dumb, meaningless, lovable film.

7 out of 10.

Preacher (Graphic Novel - 1995)

Packed with about as much action, dark humor, and outrageous gore as you could possibly fit into the format, Preacher is an epic graphic novel series that still manages to somehow skip the most compelling part of its tale. Depicting a Texas preacher who decides to go on a warpath against God, holding Him accountable for the sorry state of the world, you would think that a philosophical take on religion would stand at the forefront. Instead it's a humorous romp through one amusing religious conspiracy after another. Any heady takes on the subject matter are buried under waves of serial killers, western-style shootouts, and a constant current of pitch black humor. That isn't to say it's a failure, however. The series has a breathless sense of momentum as it moves from one action setpiece, storyline, or fascinating revelation to another. Yet still none of it scratches the itch, none of it takes itself seriously enough to examine the things it's proposing. As wide a pool, as many great twists and terrific moments as this series has, the water is still remarkably shallow. It's fun and funny, and unfortunately that's all.

7 out of 10.

Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Also known as Hauru no ugoku shiro.
Seeing something completely, utterly new and unique in a movie is a rare thing. It's also Hayao Miyazaki's stock and trade. This tale of warring wizards and a young woman cursed into old age is so inventive, so eye-popping and fresh that there's hardly any room left for a coherent story. Make no mistake, at every turn and in every scene there is a new kind of magic or spell being cast that results in a careening trip through a dazzling array of color and lights, beautiful hand drawn landscapes, or a perfectly animated transformation effortless in its character and subtleties. There is genuine enchantment to be had. But the story itself suffers for it, with large leaps in character logic and a world absolutely begging for further explanation yet receiving almost none. It creates an interesting yearning, an expectation that all the answers the movie expertly baits you into anticipating lie just around the corner. In that way it's a mildly frustrating film, but while it may less of a Miyazaki masterpiece than its peers, this is still filled with that trademark wonder, and near perfect beauty.

7 out of 10.

Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987)

Calling this a sequel is horribly misleading. Though it technically picks up with the final camera shot of the first film, the greater majority of this so-called follow-up contains scene after scene lifted and repurposed from the first. And you can't rely on the earlier movie for a bit of a leg up, either. All but the most basic premise of the first is immediately jettisoned by a heavily altered retelling of the plot so far. However all these transgressions are quickly forgiven when, out of the ashes of a horror classic, a terrific horror-comedy creeps its way out of hiding. It's still the same cabin in the woods and the same demonic ghost possessor, but now instead of accidentally falling in to B-movie cheese it revels in it, all the while delivering terrible acting and over-the-top blood and gore. The resulting mess of a movie is a manic trip into a nightmare, told with a wink and a smile and a friendly jab in the ribs. It's not the horror classic that the first is, but as a great non-sequitor and a bloody bucket of laughs it certainly holds its own.

7 out of 10.

Army of Darkness: The Medieval Dead (1992)

The Evil Dead trilogy is unique in that its films only barely attempt to maintain any consistency. Much like the second film, this third abandons its predecessor's tale, retells it differently, and goes on from what is essentially a new starting point. Here the last survivor of the first and second finds himself in medieval times, once again being called upon to fight undead demons. A big difference here compared to previous films is that the hero is largely on the offensive, exhausted and utterly pissed that no matter how many hellbeasts he destroys they just won't leave him alone. A bigger difference is that this film eschews all semblance of horror seen in the previous films, instead becoming an over-the-top action-comedy. The result is a frequently hilarious, endlessly quotable romp that is appropriately lacking in story and acting, while pouring everything it has into showcasing hero's cynical charisma. It's not nearly as violent or foul as the previous films nor is it as inventive, but taken for what it is, a B-movie trip through a haunted dark ages, there's a lot of fun to be had.

7 out of 10.

Up (2009)

One of the things that makes this film so interesting is how it shows that even at their worst, the beloved animation studio Pixar can still enchant. Much like Wall-E before it, Up is strongest in the first act. It quickly spins up and creates an absolutely incredible and emotional prologue, telling a complete and remarkably touching story in the opening moments. From this expert beginning, however, things have trouble maintaining that sense of quiet dignity. As the main character, a grumpy old man fed up with life and people, decides to make a grand escape in a house held aloft by balloons, quiet subtlety gives way to high adventure, and while the emotional underpinnings reverberate throughout the remainder of the film, the beginning feels at odds with what follows. As things become more and more ridiculous, what started in one form jerks its way into a new one that doesn't feel nearly as sincere. That said, even at its lowest points the movie remains completely likeable, with the surly protagonist giving a great contrast to the kid-centric Disney heroes of old. While the heart of the film may sputter and slow, even a sloppy hand can't take away the solid smile and fantastical whimsey that is signature in every Pixar production.

7 out of 10.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Also known as Kaze no tani no Naushika.
Set a thousand years in the future, as the last pockets of humanity fight to survive in a world covered with a vast toxic jungle, this environmentally friendly tale of a pacifist princess's struggle to defend her peaceful home from warring neighbors is crammed full of imagination and excitement, but is perhaps a bit too ambitious for it's own good. To be fair, it's based on a very large series of manga. But even with the manga's writer/artist as the film's writer/director, there are just too many things brought up that either aren't resolved well, or lack development. Characters swing from one side of the fence to another without so much as a moment to reflect on why (one key character's climactic change of heart is hilariously explained by her simply saying “I've chosen the bloody path.”), while entire civilizations are encountered, and left to ruin in moments. Yet despite the short-changing of just about everything, there is still a lot of grand adventure and heartfelt drama going on. By the end, you really feel for the princess, and her people, and the giant killer insects threatening humanity. It's a good, family-friendly time, but still one in need of either far more time, or far less ambition.

7 out of 10.

Note: This film was also released under the name Warriors of the Wind in the late 80s, however the Warriors of the Wind version of the film is heavily edited, removing just over twenty minutes from the runtime, causing significant changes to the plot. Avoid that version.

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Following up on a runaway hit is never easy. Picking up five years later, the Ghostbusters are finding it difficult to maintain steady work since their actions in the first film. Then along comes a river of goo and the ghost of a long-dead warlord. As much as it tries, this sequel can't quite recapture the surprise and ease that the first one brought in abundance, instead feeling a little less lively, a little more stiff. That isn't to say it's a bad film—not at all. It just isn't as good as the first. The foursome still have that same flawless chemistry, the dialogue is still wonderfully witty and Murray still brings it all together with his never-serious attitude. But the story lacks the spark that turned the first into a mega-hit, causing hits to plausibility, and diminishing the feeling of threat from the villains. Regardless, there's still a lot of fun to be had, a lot of excitement, and some great laughs. It may not be it's predecessor, but it definitely holds its own.

7 out of 10.