X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Somewhere along the way, the metaphor was completely lost. The stories in the X-Men comics and films have always been about persecution, alienation, and a thinly-disguised story about civil rights. This film isn't about anything, other than two hours you'll be happy to hang on to. It fails at almost every possible level. As cannon for the long-running X-Men series, it sabotages key relationships and white-washes plotlines. As an action-thriller it fails to be exciting or thrilling, instead plowing through one set of remarkably dull explosions after another, all of which are set up in ways that defy the film series's more grounded sense of continuity. As a chance to see some upper-tier celebrities have fun onscreen it seems like only Ryan Reynolds was able to squeeze out any personality, while everyone else simply can't push their talent through the awful script. Even as a showcase for big-budget special effects it flops, with more than a few moments of obvious matte lines, miscalibrated green screen effects, and generally poor integration throughout. It's sad to see the series brought to this. It used to have a message, it used to be about characters, and it used to at least be fun to watch. This is just boring, filler white-noise. Don't bother.

2 out of 10.