Gigli (2003)

guest review by Phineas Gopher

Oh, the dangers of putting your real-life romance into a Hollywood movie! Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck weren't universally liked in 2003, but they lost many of the fans they had when they headlined Gigli, a crime/drama/ romance that became the most reviled film of the year. And having sat through it recently this critic can say, it really is godawful. All the sarcasm, babytalk, and playful fighting you've ever loathed between couples you know is even harder to watch between two multi-million-dollar movie stars exuding as much charisma as a dog humping the leg of a dead body. Sorry, less. Gigli contains painfully bad dialogue like the infamous "I'm the bull. You're the cow." line, but has such high production values (and Christopher Walken!) that it manages to be entertaining as an example of Hollywood blissfully unaware of not wearing any pants to work. Plus, now is the perfect time of year to watch it, since it is both an unintentional horror film and a turkey.

1 out of 10.