In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2008)

Calling this director Uwe Boll's best film yet is like calling something the best doctoral dissertation given by someone with an IQ less than 50. Simply put, if the best thing your movie has going for it is a camp-tacular performance by Matthew Lillard of all people, you ought to just give up. But no, Boll marches on. And in the case of King, you get two hours of feces that alternates between being laughably bad and a prescription strength sleep aid. Sadly, this is a step up from his previous work. How does this man keep getting funding? It used to be because of a loophole in German tax law, but with that closed there's no reason for this man to be employed. More importantly, how does he keep getting such notable actors to slum it? I can understand that Ray Liotta, John-Rhys Davies, and Burt Reynolds might be desperate for a paycheck, but Ron Pearlman and Jason Statham aren't exactly hurting for work lately. And how can Kristanna Loken have made this mistake TWICE?! This is an awful movie made by an awful director whose actors have made awful choices. Unless you like torturing yourself, or have a crowd of friends and enough mild-altering substances to change reality itself, do not give Uwe Boll any reason to release another atrocity.

1 out of 10.