Rambo (2008)

Man, they don't make them like this anymore! The minute the film starts it's like being back in the mid-80s, with all the good and bad that goes with it. The bad guys are all mustache twirlingly evil, and the people in jeopardy are literally a bunch of white bread, Colorado based, Christian all-American, naively idealistic missionaries complete with a token hot blond. Stallone is there too, or at least what's left of him. It certainly sounds like him—every time he tells someone to “go home,” it sounds like “ghoom.” But you don't watch Rambo for introspective commentary or warrior-philosophy, at least not beyond the 1982 original; you're here for the action, and it's here that this film delivers. Soon as the safety's off it's an absolute bloodbath. Flying body parts, people shot in half, and even a few gruesome scenes of land mine death all add up to a massive 236 on screen deaths (according to film writer John Mueller). While it's ridiculously obvious where the film's priorities are, there's still something to be said for putting on a show consisting of one unforgiving massacre after another. Between the action sequences you'll be checking your watch, but when the bullets start flying I dare you to be bored.

6 out of 10.